Question:
We haven’t had sex or affection in years. What can we do to get our intimate life vibrant again?
Answer:
Many couples make the mistake of trying to jump back into sex without warming up the embers of closeness, companionship, and affection first. Here are four easy steps to start waking up passion and romance with the partner you already have:
- Kitchen dancing is a great way to have fun and remember the feeling of your bodies being next to each other and moving in sync. Make a playlist that you both love and gets your desire activated!
- Twenty second hugs and six second kisses can get your warmth and connection fired up! Skip those chicken pecks on the cheek and those cold, detached hugs!
- Lastly, commit yourselves as a team to getting in bed, skin to skin, two times per week. There should be no expectation other than to hold one another until you are completely relaxed. If you do progress to sex as a result, that is fine as well. You may want to hold off and let the sexual tension build for a little while.
The benefits of a vibrant sex life are many! Besides the actual physical health benefits, the emotional validation is critical to mental health and emotional wellness. It’s the way partners continually express acceptance, wanting, and validation to each other.
These three tips are a great start into returning to love, romance, passion, and creating a relationship that will nourish you for the long term!
From Dr. Deb’s upcoming book: The Return to Love Playbook